I find myself at a tug of war with time lately. And with this comes a huge unsureness of how to feel. I'm holding onto summer with an obligatory softness because I know it will slip through my fingers no matter what. But at the same time I find myself looking forward to marking each day off of my calender as it passes by. But for what? As the locust buzz loudly every day in the trees I'm reminded that summer is still among me. But, come Monday as the children walk by my house wearing their backpacks and the street fills with cars as parents drop their kids of at school, I am filled with the anxiousness of change. The kind of change that only Fall can bring. The kind of change that makes me feel uneasy and at the same time, peak over the edge with an eager readiness for what's next.

to remember.

I'm not vain. Not at all actually. So when I say what I'm about to say, don't take it the wrong way. Hear me out. I'll get to my point eventually I promise!

I look at a lot of blogs and websites on a daily basis. Food blogs, wedding photographers, lifestyle blogs, and crafters of all kinds. Sometimes they inspire me. Sometimes they make me feel like crap and like I could be doing more. Being more. I've tried to find a healthy balance between looking to others for inspiration and also just focusing on what I'm doing. It's more difficult than it sounds though. But, still, I try.

Anyway, I spent the last two days working on updating my own website by adding a few new pictures and tweaking here and there where needed. When you're a photographer you see your own images so much that you grow tired of them and take them for granted. You are also very critical of yourself. So I'm not sure what came over me when I decided to look through my website's "art" gallery as an outsider, but I did. And little to my surprise I was inspired. By. Me. By...myself. And not in an "Oh wow, I'm a good photographer" kind of way, but rather a way that reminded me that my favorite images were captured at times when I fully let go.

LET. GO.

They are the pictures that were a mistake. Pictures that were taken literally my first week of photography school, before I even knew how to use my camera manually (aka no control.) Pictures where I decided on a whim to photograph a glass bottle in my kitchen window and let myself get lost in it for an hour. They are the pictures I got while on a spontaneous outing with Chad when we used to say, "hey lets go out shooting." We never left the house with a plan, but just going was enough to fuel something healthy inside of us. They are the pictures I took when I wasn't in my head. They are the pictures that I took because I decided to bring my camera. (Brilliant, I know.) They are the pictures I got in the freezing snow or when I'd parked on the side of the highway, with cars whizzing by, just to get the shot. They are the pictures that I took because I wasn't afraid. I wasn't embarrassed. I didn't doubt myself. I didn't think about the business or the money, or the practicalities of being a professional photographer. You know, making a living and trying to get people to take you seriously. 

So yeah, I inspired myself.  I inspired myself to remember that my best work comes when I can be present in the moment and let go. My best work comes from that place inside of me that needs to create without a reason and because it feels right. And so often, I lose sight of that.

I needed to record this for myself, but I hope it comes to you at a time when you too have forgot the truest purest reason for why you create. And helps you to remember.

Happy Wednesday.

kind words.

It's not typically my style to design with image textures or layering effects, but when Christy and Mike requested this image on their digital negative case I played with it for a good while until it just felt right. I liked the watercolor effect and the use of the wildflowers from their backyard photo session, something that clearly came to have a special meaning later. I wanted to share with you a few of the kind words I've received from Christy since her and Mike have seen their pictures. This type of thing truly melts my heart, keeps me grounded, and helps to remind me just why I do what I do.

"Truthfully, we’re a little astounded at how sweet the photos are and how intimate they look.  Who would have thought? 

And the field of flowers . . . oh, my.  What a gift.  You had such a lovely way of creating an easy moment for us, that I’m still a bit blown away at the results. Thank you so much for the wonderful experience.  Each time I look at the proofs, it makes me smile (really big). 

Can’t tell you how much we appreciate your talent, your lovely way of helping us feel comfortable, and the way you spotted the wildflowers (of all things! I didn’t know they were out there.) "

-Christy