to remember.

I'm not vain. Not at all actually. So when I say what I'm about to say, don't take it the wrong way. Hear me out. I'll get to my point eventually I promise!

I look at a lot of blogs and websites on a daily basis. Food blogs, wedding photographers, lifestyle blogs, and crafters of all kinds. Sometimes they inspire me. Sometimes they make me feel like crap and like I could be doing more. Being more. I've tried to find a healthy balance between looking to others for inspiration and also just focusing on what I'm doing. It's more difficult than it sounds though. But, still, I try.

Anyway, I spent the last two days working on updating my own website by adding a few new pictures and tweaking here and there where needed. When you're a photographer you see your own images so much that you grow tired of them and take them for granted. You are also very critical of yourself. So I'm not sure what came over me when I decided to look through my website's "art" gallery as an outsider, but I did. And little to my surprise I was inspired. By. Me. By...myself. And not in an "Oh wow, I'm a good photographer" kind of way, but rather a way that reminded me that my favorite images were captured at times when I fully let go.

LET. GO.

They are the pictures that were a mistake. Pictures that were taken literally my first week of photography school, before I even knew how to use my camera manually (aka no control.) Pictures where I decided on a whim to photograph a glass bottle in my kitchen window and let myself get lost in it for an hour. They are the pictures I got while on a spontaneous outing with Chad when we used to say, "hey lets go out shooting." We never left the house with a plan, but just going was enough to fuel something healthy inside of us. They are the pictures I took when I wasn't in my head. They are the pictures that I took because I decided to bring my camera. (Brilliant, I know.) They are the pictures I got in the freezing snow or when I'd parked on the side of the highway, with cars whizzing by, just to get the shot. They are the pictures that I took because I wasn't afraid. I wasn't embarrassed. I didn't doubt myself. I didn't think about the business or the money, or the practicalities of being a professional photographer. You know, making a living and trying to get people to take you seriously. 

So yeah, I inspired myself.  I inspired myself to remember that my best work comes when I can be present in the moment and let go. My best work comes from that place inside of me that needs to create without a reason and because it feels right. And so often, I lose sight of that.

I needed to record this for myself, but I hope it comes to you at a time when you too have forgot the truest purest reason for why you create. And helps you to remember.

Happy Wednesday.

kind words.

It's not typically my style to design with image textures or layering effects, but when Christy and Mike requested this image on their digital negative case I played with it for a good while until it just felt right. I liked the watercolor effect and the use of the wildflowers from their backyard photo session, something that clearly came to have a special meaning later. I wanted to share with you a few of the kind words I've received from Christy since her and Mike have seen their pictures. This type of thing truly melts my heart, keeps me grounded, and helps to remind me just why I do what I do.

"Truthfully, we’re a little astounded at how sweet the photos are and how intimate they look.  Who would have thought? 

And the field of flowers . . . oh, my.  What a gift.  You had such a lovely way of creating an easy moment for us, that I’m still a bit blown away at the results. Thank you so much for the wonderful experience.  Each time I look at the proofs, it makes me smile (really big). 

Can’t tell you how much we appreciate your talent, your lovely way of helping us feel comfortable, and the way you spotted the wildflowers (of all things! I didn’t know they were out there.) "

-Christy

This was one of those weeks where all the most memorable moments happened when I was without a camera. Like the INCREDIBLE sunset I witnessed for only a few minutes while taking my dog for an evening walk. It was amazing. No, like truly amazing. So amazing I'm not even going to try to describe it. I'll just trust you to take my word for it. Or like the night I sat in my car at the grocery store parking lot and cried. Then I continued to enter said grocery store and exit with three items: a tub of Breyers vanilla, a tub of Breyers chocolate chip cookie dough, and a bag of Kettle BBQ potato chips. It was embarrassing and borderline pathetic. I just pretended the cashier assumed I was stocking up for a labor day party. And then there were the short moments during yoga that my mind was finally able to let go. This doesn't occur very often, so it was memorable indeed! And so was the epically long phone conversation I had. I'm not proud of it and am not even sure how to take a picture of something like that if I tried, but I'm pretty sure it broke a world record. Or there's the night on the couch when I spooned Daphnie and she spooned the cat (even with her arm around her!) It was by far the cutest and most surprising thing I'd ever seen, considering Daphnie had never met a cat until about two months ago. 

Moral of the story is keep your camera handy. Because if you don't, you could miss out on stuff like this:

It's not a good picture, but it might be even more adorable than the furry spoon session I described on the couch. Just maybe...

Happy September!