the space between.

I've been doing a lot of thinking about home lately. I'm not really sure where that is. And maybe that's okay. Miles of road behind me. Crunching snow beneath my feet. A travel toothbrush and a million thoughts. Everything's quite forlorn, and I'm pretty quiet. And maybe that's okay. I feel a little strange. My insides are a little unsettled, and so is my life. My body is still weak and my head a little foggy from having the flu. Everyday I wake up hoping to feel more like myself, but it hasn't happened yet. I don't think it will for a long time. And, maybe that's okay.

5 months ago I had never been more excited to leave Oklahoma and get a taste of something else. I still crave that "something else" but oddly enough have never been more excited to see my home state again. I think because everything's so scattered, maybe it's the familiarity I yearn for. After all, it's all I've ever known. And it will still feel somewhat scattered. I won't have my own place anymore. I gave that up. And some of my best friends have moved, which is a shame. And my stuff will need to remain boxed up for a while I'm sure, while I figure out what to do with it, and myself. But what is "stuff" anyway? I've learned all I really need is my camera. In a nut shell. I see a glimpse of home when i look through it, no matter where I'm at. And maybe, that alone is okay.

Home feels like:

my mom:

  • her chocolate cake
  • hugs
  • advise
  • late night nachos
  • her listening ear and soft shoulder
  • goofiness
  • movie buddy
  • homemade southern cookin'

my dog:

  • unconditional love
  • soft fluffy white fur
  • wet nose
  • brownie brown eyes
  • walks
  • couch cuddler
  • funny quarks
my best friend, Sheri:
  • football buddy
  • beer buddy
  • best advise
  • clothes sharing
  • someone who really knows me
  • constant silliness
  • confidant

other randoms:
  • pumpkin ice cream at Braums
  • familiar faces
  • endless sunsets
  • OU football
  • Missoula
  • my camera
  • my EFers

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