allie + richard.

The farmer's market started this week. Let me remind you, it's October. Also, there was an ice cream truck outside of the house on Thursday afternoon. Again, it's October. Leaves are changing colors in other parts of the country and back home in Colorado, there's snow. I feel like I'm in some kind of confused, seasonal time warp. And I think the confusion is rubbing off on me too because mid week I found myself making soup on a cool evening, wearing a sweatshirt, and pretending it was the real October I know and love. But as much as it sort of felt like Fall (or I wanted it to feel like Fall) I couldn't help but question the soup making the next day when the temperatures were high, the AC was turned back on, and I was sweating into my leftovers - all the while the ice cream truck was paying the neighborhood another cheery visit. I'm not in a time warp. I'm in Florida. Happy Fall!

trapped.

I have never liked statues. There's something very haunting about them. Their eyes so empty, their bodies so cold. They remind me of the only reoccurring dream I've ever had. It only happened a lot as a child and usually only while I was really sick. I'd wake up in a sweat and would cry and cry. The dream had my body in some sort of assembly line at a factory. I couldn't move and felt nothing, but watched as I came closer and closer to a machine with mechanical arms ready to put my body tightly  into small containers of all shapes and sizes. It wasn't gross, but rather highly claustrophobic. I felt trapped.

I haven't had the dream in probably thirteen years. But staring at this statue today, already confined in it's own body and now swallowed by the arms of a Banyan tree, I couldn't help but immediately feel short of breath. My chest felt tight at the thought of endless permanence. And yet, there was something beautiful about it that I still don't understand. Maybe it was all the life that surrounded something so lifeless.